Rising Sun Rhapsody
by TakeshiKovacs987
Summary: Public Relations agent Shinji Ikari was just a nice guy who wanted to scrape by, keep a nice peaceful life, and fly under the radar. Unfortunately nobody told this to international superstar Asuka Sohryu Langley.
1. Love in the Time of Hipsters

Disclaimer: I do not own NGE, so no litigation!

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**Love in the Time of Hipsters**

"Hm. Record sales are down this quarter," Gendo Ikari, CEO of Nerv Music Group, commented.

"Not surprising. Second Impact just released another album this week," Kozo Fuyutsuki, vice president, replied dully.

"Seele has stolen all of our business…for now," Gendo said in an ominous manner.

The two business executives leaned back in their chairs in the large boardroom.

"What about Soryu? She's one of our star musicians. Potentially she could challenge Seele's Second Impact." Gendo was surprised that she hadn't managed to become a real threat to the pop group.

"She…has a bit of a problem."

"Hm?"

"Soryu's talented and attractive, but her public image isn't what we'd call…clean. She…has a tendency to…hit things."

"Like?"

Like photographers…men in bars…men in coffee shops…men on the street…"

"…I see your point. We'll have to remedy that," Gendo said firmly.

"How?" Kozo inquired incredulously. The situation was becoming more and more untenable with every tabloid smearing the name of their star performer.

"My son."

* * *

"I hate the day like Tom hates Jerry," moaned Toji Suzuhara, hands on his head.

"I thought the hate was mutual?"

"It's still apt. Mice hate cats and vice versa. And are you really one to criticize me?"

Kensuke Aida shifted uncomfortably in the barstool.

"I'm not the one who stayed up all last night," Kensuke said.

"Because Hikari was talking on the phone all last night…again."

"I don't get it. If she's so much of a bother, then why don't you break up and move out?"

"I love her," Toji said simply as if it was enough explanation. Oddly, it was. However, the masculinity affirming moment was tainted by the streak of pink on his cheeks.

"Aw. That's cute. I can just imagine the two of you. Hikari…and her blushing bride Toji."

"Shut up," Toji grumbled before taking a bite of his fish and chips.

"You guys skipping work?"

Both men turned around to see a whiplash lean man with piercing blue eyes.

"Shinji! I thought you were in Canada!"

"Just got back. Seele is still indecisive. They're not sure about hiring my firm. Something about metallic versus plushy."

"PR really is a thankless job, huh?"

"Eh, I get paid decently and I get to travel."

"I don't know. There are some hinky people you're bound to deal with. Like these Seele people. What the hell's a German company doing in Canada?"

"Why are you asking me? They're a music label. They're actually well known to pick world class musicians. But the company itself is just not known all that publicly for some reason. Maybe Canada has a higher concentration of good musicians? Speaking of good, we still on for Friday's dinner?"

"Course dude. Hikari's been dying to try some recipe or something."

"And you just care about being fed, Toji," Kensuke said caustically. "I'll bring my usual pie."

Little did anyone outside of their little group know, but Kensuke was an incredible baker.

"And I'll bring something of my own creation," Shinji said, ever the iron chef.

Kensuke and Toji started eating more enthusiastically and seemed a lot more animated since Shinji got there.

"You never answered the question, you know. You guys skipping work?"

"What? No. Toji's sealed the deal with another sporting goods shop. And I don't have much to do."

"Congrats Toji," Shinji said honestly before turning back to Kensuke. "Why don't you have anything to do?"

"We can't do anything without a good story to guide the programming of the game. Love sims are hard to make, man," Kensuke said dejectedly.

"I still find it both fitting and weird that you do that. I mean you played them all the time back in High School…but I've never known you to have a girlfriend," Toji said curiously.

"Rub it in my face, why don't you?" Kensuke grumbled miserably.

"Sorry, sorry. I was being an ass…" Toji said apologetically.

Shinji tried to smooth things over. "Come on guys. Work is miserable enough without us having to wale on each other…and I have no doubt that Toji could take you if it came to that."

"What!! Oh, it's on!" Kensuke roared animatedly.

"Bring it," Toji hissed intensely.

Kensuke forgot his misery and put his elbow on the table for the purest manly fight of all: a thumb war. Toji rose to the challenge and fiercely gripped his hand for the battle.

Shinji smacked his forehead and shook his head in exasperation until he heard:

"Hey! We got a thumb on the guillotine! My money's on four eyes!"

Half the men in the bar started to surround the two grappled in the war for thumb supremacy. And Shinji sensed a gambling opportunity.

An hour later, Shinji walked out with a cool 200 dollars in his wallet and started walking back to his firm's offices.

"Hey, Ran. Any messages?"

"Just one. From your father: 'Call me,'" she said in a weak imitation of his cold, stern tones.

Shinji laughed nonetheless. Ran was a rare sort of girl: a nice one.

"Thanks. I'll be in my office."

Shinji heavily plopped into his chair and breathed deeply. He reached for the phone

* * *

"Hikari…do you think I'm sexy?"

The freckled brunette sighed in exasperation. Asuka always went through this routine every time she broke up with a man.

"I don't swing that way, Asuka."

"If I was sexy enough, I'd be able to make you swing that way."

"I have a boyfriend."

"I can kick his ass and claim you."

"Asuka…" Hikari whined. However, Asuka was relentless and kept looking at Hikari expectantly. At last, the brunette caved in.

"…You are the most curvaceous, gorgeous woman I have ever laid eyes on. The Goddess Aphrodite herself would be rife with jealousy at your oozing sexiness. If I did not have a boyfriend, I would swap teams and ravage your body right here, right now," Hikari said in a droll, dull tone of voice, having gone through this enough times to just give up convincing her.

"Ahh. Thanks Hikari," Asuka said as she leaned back in the plush sitting chair. "That gets me revved up for my next boyfriend."

"You just broke up. Don't you think that you should slow down?"

"Public image of course! That dork dumped me! _Me_!" Asuka growled indignantly.

Hikari rolled her eyes. She was her best friend, but at times she was just a little conceited. "Image? Asuka, I hate to break it to you, but it's a little late to worry about your image at this point."

"What do you mean by that!?"

"Well…you _did_ punch those paparazzi before…"

"That was totally justified! I mean who hides in a dressing room!?" Asuka huffed.

"Okay, I'll give you that, but what about the charity worker for Seele?" Hikari patiently said.

"He groped my ass when we were cutting the ribbon for that new hospital! And by the feel of it, his hand was going even more south! I _had_ to teach him a lesson!"

"And what about the grandmother that you punched instead when you tried to 'teach him a lesson?'"

"…that was a total accident. If only he hadn't ducked and taken it like a man," Asuka muttered contemptuously.

"My point still stands. You're not exactly seen as the nicest celebrity out there. Certainly famous, but not for the things that you'd like."

"Do they like my music?" Asuka asked brusquely.

"Yeah. You've gone platinum, but-"

"Do they like my movies?" Asuka asked again in the same blunt manner.

"You've never had less than a million dollar contract, but what I'm saying is-"

"Do they like my TV show?"

"Yes, they-wait you don't have a TV show."

"I will," Asuka said with a cute wink. "And it'll be a huge success, so what's the big deal?"

Hikari had enough with her interruptions and shrieked, "Because you're being seen as a spoiled, _violent_ bitch!"

"Humph! Who cares?" Asuka said indifferently, crossing her arms.

"_I_ care! You're my best friend! I don't want you slandered like that!" Hikari shouted with tears in her eyes.

Silence filled the room like a noxious gas.

"All right…I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to-"

"Hikari, it's okay. You were right. I know that my name is being dragged through the mud lately, but I guess…I'm just used to it."

"You shouldn't be though," Hikari said softly.

"Well, if you're really so worried, the label sent a new PR guy to meet me tomorrow."

"Do you think he'll be any good?"

"I'd bet he's some mama's boy."

* * *

"Shinji. Your mother wants me to talk to you about something."

"…about what?" Shinji felt apprehensive. When his mother talked his father into having a conversation with him, it never was anything good. The last talk they had was _the_ talk and that was the most uncomfortable, ungodly two hours of his life. It would've only lasted one hour, but he kept passing out at the time.

"She's worried about the state of your date life."

"…how does she even know the state of my date life?"

"Apparently, she's very good friends with your secretary. But that's beside the point. She's concerned about how you're 27 years old and you haven't had a girlfriend in your life."

Shinji threw a dirty look out at the door, where he knew Ran to be leaning against and listening in.

"What about Mana in college?"

"She was…a little too high strung to be considered a healthy relationship." _Like on crystal meth._

"Okay…"

"Look son, I personally have no issue with you being alone."

_Gee…thanks dad. _Shinji thought. As a child, he had grown used to his father's gruff mannerisms.

"Some men are islands, but you know your mother…" Gendo shuddered in remembrance of his first date with her. Contrary to popular belief, Yui Ikari was the first to approach Gendo Rokubungi, not the other way around. On that day, Gendo felt a distinct chill crawl up his spine as he watched the class representative walk to him with purposeful determination. Little did he know that beneath the cute, responsible exterior, lied an insane dominatrix. The date that ensued afterwards was…eventful to say the least.

"Just tell her not to worry too much about it. I just have a lot of work these days."

"All right. I'll tell her that…but I expect some compensation for what I'll have to endure."

"…fine. What do you want?" Shinji asked bluntly, knowing that the best way to deal with his father was to be as direct and honest as possible.

"I want you to meet Asuka Langley Soryu tomorrow morning."

"You want me to what!?" Shinji screamed loud enough that Ran jumped from her position against the door.

"You heard me. Soryu needs a good PR man to spruce up her image. The last one was incompetent and often hit on the client, so I fired him." _And she made sure he would speak falsetto for the rest of his life…_

"Why did you call _me_ then!? There are _hundreds_ more competent and experienced than me!"

"I trust you to do right by her," Gendo answered calmly.

"Isn't this just nepotism?"

"No, if you were incompetent I would've just ignored you and never even told you about this out of fear that you would try to curry my favor for the opportunity. Now the meeting-"

"No! No way! I've seen Soryu's situation. It'll take a miracle worker to pull a body from that train wreck! I mean where the hell would I even begin to cover her excessive relationships, much less the fact that she freaking punched a sweet elderly woman!" Shinji exclaimed.

"Shinji…you owe me," Gendo reminded none too gently. This was the reason he was CEO of Nerv Music group. He was willing to even endure an all night browbeating (amongst other types of beatings) by someone known to do unspeakable things (that even gave _Gendo Ikari_ nightmares) if was for the sake of his company.

Shinji growled in frustration. If there was one thing that he'd learned from his parents, it was to always repay your debts. He finally ground out, "Fine. But I expect mom off my back for at least two months!"

"One."

"One and a half."

"Three weeks and I keep hiding the box of 'special' magazines you left at the house."

"…Deal," Shinji said grudgingly. "But! It's _just_ a meeting. I'm not agreeing to become her agent. This is a one time consult!"

Gendo grunted, knowing that Shinji would not budge from that position. He hung up and made a mental note to wear a cup when he talked to his wife tonight.

* * *

Shinji impatiently tapped his finger on the table. He had been in the upscale coffee shop for at least an hour now. She was late! Shinji hated pretentious places like this. They were like Starbucks but with even _more_ trumped up prices. The man balefully eyed the ritzy postmodern décor, the Xanax riddled baristas with smug little grins, and all the conceited, 'poetic' hipsters walking around. The worst thing of all was that the meeting place his father set up was something of a hotspot for singles to hook up. Shinji sighed glumly. Sadly his mother was right. He hadn't had a girlfriend or date in years. Because of this, his mother was on him 24/7 about meeting a nice girl and giving her plenty of grandchildren. The nagging blitz had been going on ever since college! It wasn't bad enough that he had a busy job; he had to have a mother looking over his shoulder. And now he had to wait for an insufferable pop princess! Because of her, he had to refrain from going to the bathroom out of fear for just missing her and making her think that he just skipped the meeting.

"We idolize celebrities all the time! It's absolutely disgusting! They're all shallow, selfish morons! Most couldn't even tie their own damn shoes! No social conscience! And the people! They shouldn't support idiots like that; they should be supporting men like Che Guevara! He was a real man of the people."

_Yeah…a real man to slaughter dozens of innocents in cold blooded firing squads._ Shinji thought sarcastically as he felt his eye twitch ever so slightly. God he hated these people. He would have preferred pot smoking hippies compared to these intellectual masturbators. At least hippies didn't try to rub their 'enlightened' state in his face.

The man at the adjacent table continued to jabber at his awestruck date (a girl who obviously had more money than brain cells.)

"You see all this? It's just a pure construct of big business to get more money. I myself am not fooled by their pathetic subterfuge. I don't give in. I actually help the poor," the man airily rambled as he toyed with his gold Rolex.

He was disgusted. If there was anything that his father taught him, it was a sheer disdain for the hypocrisy and idiocy that permeated society at times. Shinji didn't have anything against Guevara or any real love for celebrities, but he found it disgusting that this man disregarded everything except for Che's more notable accomplishments and the seedy excesses of celebrities. This led Shinji to conclude that the man (like many others of his kind) was just repeating what they heard in hopes of a higher approval by their peers. There wasn't any real thought, just a hungry desire to receive some recognition, so they shout in shrill cacophony. Anything and everything to feel like they deserve love or peace. Shinji was a good study of human behavior since he had to for his job and so far he's never been proven wrong. People were jealous, dumb animals at the root of it…but they had certain redeeming qualities that made it worth still living.

"And, blah blah blah. I'm so important. I'm so smart. I'm so charitable." This isn't exactly what the man said, but it had been 20 minutes since he started on his celebrity rant and Shinji was losing focus.

Shinji shifted in his chair, realizing that he still had to go to the bathroom. It was getting unbearable now.

"What's wrong with you?"

Shinji's eye twitched as he turned in his chair to look at the offending voice.

* * *

"Asuka! You're late for your meeting!" Hikari exclaimed after glancing at her watch.

"So? He's going to work for me, not the other way around. Besides he's probably going to be a pervert like the last one," Asuka said dismissively.

"You should at least show some professional courtesy. You don't even know if he is a pervert," Hikari said sternly.

"Hikari, you're my assistant and I respect your advice, but courtesy isn't something needed here. If he can't handle a client being a few measly minutes late, then he's not worthy of working for me."

"It's been an hour," Hikari deadpanned.

"Oh…then I guess I should get moving."

A leisurely drive of about 20 minutes later and she was there. Asuka never saw the appeal of those trendy coffee shops, but she had to keep up with the latest styles and fads if she wanted to remain at the forefront of pop culture. It was when she just walked in that she realized she didn't know how the PR agent looked like. She was anticipating a pasty, sweaty middle-aged pervert like the last one, but so far she didn't see any. Just twenty-somethings loafing around, sipping their ninety dollar designer coffees and pretending to penetrate into the deep mysteries of the universe. One person stood out from the crowd though. He wasn't dressed in any fashionable manner. It was just a plain pair of slacks and button up shirt. To Asuka, it was almost refreshingly dull against the background of designer clothing and disgustingly tasteful contrivances of societal disdain. He looked rather irritable, the only one who even seemed remotely displeased with the shop.

"What's wrong with you?" Asuka asked sardonically.

The man turned to look. He had stone blue eyes that demanded nothing, but asked for nothing in return.

* * *

Soryu was finally here. She looked stunning, casually dressed, but made it look elegant enough to make most supermodels weep in shame. That didn't penetrate Shinji's mind at the moment though. What did pass was the sheer irritation of her making him wait over an hour in this stupid shop! Shinji was a patient guy (one had to be with his friends), but he desperately needed to find a bathroom, so he decided to try and make it as short as possible. No need for formality or politeness, it's not as though he was going to be Soryu's agent right?

"Now you show up!" Shinji snapped.

Soryu had the gall to look irritated right back at him. "Don't take that tone with me!"

"I'm sorry. Were you the one sitting around these 'rebels' this whole time!?"

She looked shocked that someone would talk to her like that.

"Screw it. Let's get down to business. I've compiled a list of pieces of advice for you to improve your image," Shinji said succinctly. "The most prominent I would suggest is for you to make it up to the old woman you knocked out. She has several grandchildren who would love to see you in concert up front. Use them."

Asuka opened her mouth, but Shinji kept on hurriedly trucking. _Bathroom, bathroom, bathroom._

"The next is your constant boyfriend mongering. Cut it out. It makes you look slutty. Either go on a hiatus or find a long term committed relationship. Possibly lesbian. It'll bring bigger media hype and make you new fans due to the feeling of radical defiance of social norms. Or find a regular Joe. It'll buy you some credibility as a good person for not looking snobby."

Asuka looked indignant at the idea of going lesbian and giving up her free lifestyle. She now realized that this was the PR agent she was supposed to meet.

"Finally, don't be late. It gives the impression that you're spoiled and not down to earth. Fans will draw away from that. Your music and movies may be popular but if you're widely disregarded and hated in the public eye, your legacy will be tainted, thus leading to a dwindling respect for you."

Asuka stared; slack jawed at the young man. Also why was he fidgeting so much?

If you want to be seen as a truly unique celebrity, be a good person. Not just a good actress or singer. I assume that you want to be seen as this. Now thank you for the meeting, good bye."

Shinji got up, bowed shortly, and hurriedly ran out of the door, in search for a public restroom.

* * *

Asuka sat in stunned silence. She had been that way since the newly discovered PR agent left in a hurry. It slowly dawned on her that for once in her life someone stood up to her and dismissed her without a single backwards glance. Without her noticing it, Hikari walked into the shop.

"Asuka? Are you all right? You've been in here for a while now. Did the guy not show up?"

Asuka didn't respond.

"…um, Asuka?"

Still no response.

"Asuka, you're scaring me now."

Asuka finally opened her mouth. "**I'M GOING TO **_**RIP **_**HIS **_**BALLS**_** OFF!!!!**"

Hikari backed up in fear. This was a very seldom seen level of rage that Asuka has attained. She gulped and asked, "Wh-what happened?"

Asuka noticed Hikari's trembling and calmed down a little. "That prick gave me a bunch of bullshit advice and then had the gall to just run off!"

"That's so wrong!"

"I know! I am so going to fire him!"

"And you should! Who sent him?"

"The record label," Asuka spat. "They should just neuter their entire PR department!"

Hikari just nodded, sharing in the righteous wrath of her fellow female. "What's this jerk's name?"

Asuka opened her mouth and then closed it, losing some steam. "…I don't know."

"Call Mr. Ikari then!"

"Good idea!"

* * *

Gendo Ikari sat patiently at his desk in his usual pose. The phone rang. He glanced at the caller ID. Asuka. He pressed a button releasing a prerecorded message. Then he slouched back in his chair and winced at the stings in his ass. His wife was none too gentle that night.

"Hello, Ms. Soryu. I cannot come to the phone at the moment. I anticipate that you've met my son Shinji and have called to complain. I'm afraid that he's here to stay and you must deal with it in a progressive, _non-violent_ way. If you wish to speak with him, then his number is 555-4242."

Asuka and Hikari exchanged glances. His son? The redhead fumbled to dial the number.

"Hello?" A tentative voice inquired.

* * *

Shinji finally reached a bathroom in a local bakery. The trendy coffee shop's architect was so preoccupied on style and catering to expensive tastes that he forgot to put in a bathroom. Exhaling a sigh of relief, Shinji made his way home. He was off the hook from his mother for the time being and from the obligation that enabled him to do so. Shinji was certain that Asuka wouldn't choose _him_ as a PR agent. He didn't want to have to deal with someone that famous. It was just too much pressure and money. Shinji didn't become a PR agent for the money. He just wanted to live comfortably and noticed he had a talent for understanding people. Indeed, he was not suited to becoming an agent for some superstar like Asuka. No sirree bob, it was just him remaining a faceless cog. No fame or glory, but at the same time no flack or unnecessary stress in his life. Unfortunately for Shinji, fate thought otherwise. His phone was ringing. Shinji stared at it for a moment and didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?"

Asuka felt pissed again. "Don't 'hello' me, you bastard!"

"Is this Ms. Soryu?" He sounded shocked. "How did you get this number?"

"Your father!"

"Oh…he is so going to get it later," Shinji muttered.

"Hey! _You're_ going to get it _now_!" Asuka swore that she could hear the unseen man cringe on the other line.

"Fine. I apologize for being so rude and obtuse in the coffee shop. I was being unfair. I did not believe that I was worthy or capable enough to take you on as a client."

"You apologize!? That's not good enough!"

The man sighed and Asuka had the fleeting mental image of him pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation and guilt. "Fine. What can I do to make it up to you?"

Asuka beamed in delight at cowing him. She was about to reply, but realized that she had no idea what she wanted from him. He certainly couldn't buy her anything since she had all the money and material objects she ever wanted. However, she suddenly remembered something he said before. "Tell me I'm a great actress. A great singer."

"…why?" His tone implied that she was being egotistical.

"Don't question me! Before you said that I was just 'good'. Now it's time to set the record right!"

"That really all you want?"

"Humph! Like you have anything else to offer that I don't already have!"

* * *

Shinji stared at his phone in disbelief. Was this girl really as egomaniacal as the tabloids made her out to be? Regardless, he had to just pacify her with a few measly words and he'd be off the hook. Shinji resolved to do just that.

"I won't." The resolve melted away at the last moment. So quickly in fact that Shinji stood openmouthed for a few moments after he realized what he just said.

"Why not?" The question came in frigid tones that promised a slow, painful death.

"Because you _don't_ have everything."

"What do you mean by that!?"

A pause. "You heard me."

"I heard you, but I don't believe you," Asuka grated.

"You have looks, talent, fame, an endless line of suitors and enough money to make Midas himself envy you."

Asuka felt the usual inflation of self esteem and preened.

"But you're empty. You don't have respect. For yourself or others," Shinji finished bluntly, praying that it would piss her off enough to get her off his trail and leave him alone.

"Who are you to lecture me?" Asuka snapped.

"No one. Precisely why you don't need to care about my opinion and just think of me as that loser pervert who insulted face to face. Just hang up and let me leave your life. Why should I matter to you? I'm nobody."

Asuka was about to answer back when the sound of the dial tone met her ears. He hung up. But for some reason Asuka wasn't angry. She tried to think of an argument against what he just said, but she couldn't.

"Asuka? What did he say?"

"…that I didn't have any respect for myself or others," Asuka said, dumbfounded. "Total load of crap, right?"

Hikari didn't answer. She just avoided her eyes.

"Right…?" Asuka repeated weakly. Hikari still didn't answer.

Asuka let the matter drop and dropped heavily into a nearby chair. The café was silent now. Now that she thought about it. She really couldn't think of something to refute his argument. She didn't know why, but she cared about his opinion, a guy that she met for less than five minutes. Asuka thought back to her words about a man worthy of being her PR agent. He wasn't like the people who usually surrounded her; that's for sure. He may have been off target about her, but he was clever and best of all he didn't even make one pass at her. This was somebody she could work with. And think about how sweet her revenge would be if he was forced to become her agent especially after he so vehemently fought against it. She smirked evilly and redialed.

* * *

Shinji eagerly closed his phone and realized that he didn't have lunch yet. As he walked to the nearest sandwich shop, he thought to himself _That oughta scare her off! I'm not only rude, but I'm a complete ass!_ Shinji wasn't normally proud of this kind of behavior but if it meant that he could continue working quietly and peacefully, he would do anything. The life that being Asuka's agent would offer was decadent, exhausting, and frankly not for him. He just wanted to be ordinary. Once again fate decided to prove Shinji wrong…again. The phone rang.

"Yes…?" Shinji asked reluctantly.

"You're my new agent. Meet me Friday. I'll send details later." She hung up.

Shit.

_I guess…I could do worse than this…_Shinji tried to console himself, knowing that his father would pressure him into it, no matter how hard he resisted. The one meeting agreement was just a bluff and they both knew it. Shinji's will was strong, but Gendo had years of experience in stubbornness and it didn't hurt that Yui would back him on a good job opportunity for Shinji.

But for reasons unknown to Shinji, a brief smile flickered across his face. Whether it was out of hysteria or some unknown well of happiness, Shinji didn't know. What he did know was that his peaceful days were soon to be over with.

* * *

Asuka closed her phone with a supreme sense of satisfaction. Now that idiot will be punished _and_ she could prove him wrong. She took no note of the fact that she was enthusiastic about the opinion of a man she barely knew; only that she was going to show him up. A small smile graced her lips. However, it had nothing to do with thoughts of vengeance, but Asuka didn't know that at that moment.

* * *

A/N: First rom-com. Feels good after the slog of tragedy I had to go through with Pick Up Lines. I'm not going to give anything away, so please don't pester. I'm going to leave it ambiguously SR or SA for awhile until the endgame is near. Rei won't show up for a bit, so the next chapter or two will be focused on the expansion of Shinji and Asuka's relationship and characters. For any fans of Pick Up Lines, that will be updated sometime next week or so. I spent my time on this, so please don't be disappointed…I just didn't want to get into a depressed funk from writing so much serious stuff. Don't forget to review or drop a critique (or compliment, you know. I am totally down with some ego stroking). Until then, good night.


	2. Roppongi Realizations

Disclaimer: I do not own NGE

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**[Roppongi Realizations]3**

Toji drummed his fingers on the counter of his store. There was absolutely nothing going on that moment. He watched a group of punk kids loiter out of the corner of his eye, vaguely hoping that they'd start some trouble so he could have something to occupy his time (mostly bust heads, but who ever claimed Toji to be a pacifist?) However, in the grand scheme of things, he couldn't really complain. Of his little group, he was the most successful. He ran a chain of sporting goods stores, had two great best friends, and a woman that he adored and who returned the favor. His two best friends weren't all that bad off, but comparably he was doing better. Kensuke was often too busy designing the next hottest gal game and Shinji…well often Toji wondered about Shinji. He had a successful career as a PR agent, but didn't seem to interact outside their tight knit group. In the time that he had known him, Shinji only had one girlfriend and that one was crazy enough to make Shinji's mom look as dull as dishwater. Toji glanced at the door, speak of the devil.

Shinji shuffled in with a vacant stare. "Toji…I think I'm going to be late to tonight's dinner."

"What? Why?"

Shinji slouched heavily against the counter and hung his head. "I was hired as Soryu's PR agent…we're meeting today too…"

"Wow. _Asuka_ Langley Soryu? That's great, man."

"No! It's not!" Shinji exclaimed, throwing up his hands.

"…you've lost me," Toji said blankly.

"Have you seen the state of her image?"

"Yeah. Damn sexy if I say so myself."

"Not her physical image! Her public one!" Shinji clarified vehemently.

"But come on, you've got a sweet gig right there. I mean not many guys can say that they work closely with an international superstar. And who knows, something might happen," Toji said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Shinji looked dryly at Toji.

"Okay, okay. Maybe not. But it's still a client that most in your profession would kill to have." _Along with most men._

"I never wanted that kind of thing though," Shinji said weakly. "I _did_ not and I still _do_ not want the money or the respect or all the work. I wanted to just live in peace. Is it so bad to just want to be average?"

Toji knew that for Shinji, there really was no choice. Despite Shinji's abysmal track record with women, he could never resist helping a damsel in distress. Aside from Asuka's rougher attributes, she was a woman in need of help and deep down Shinji knew that. He didn't answer Shinji, knowing that he would find it out for himself later on. Wait, Asuka…isn't that the celebrity that Hikari works for?

"How are things with Hikari?" Shinji asked.

Toji snapped out of his reverie and set aside his little revelation for a more appropriate (comedic) time. "Um…pretty good. At first it was kind of rocky and awkward when we started living together, but I think we've hit a good balance right now."

"That's good…" Shinji said softly. "You know…I'm kind of jealous of you, man."

"Hm? Why?"

"Well, you've got your life pretty well figured out and set. I mean I wouldn't be surprised if I heard the pattering of freckled, thickheaded children's feet anytime soon."

"Th-tha-" Toji stuttered, embarrassed.

Shinji smirked, but remembered his dilemma. "I don't know about my situation. It's something that every high flier in my career would want. I'd get a larger pay for sure. On the other hand, a lot of the guys at the firm will probably just say that I got it through nepotism."

"Just ignore 'em. Most of those PR guys are just amoral snakes."

Shinji shot Toji a look.

"I said 'most.' Calm down. This is not the worst thing that can happen to you."

Shinji sighed and massaged his temples. "I know…it's just I don't like change. I was perfectly content with how things were. Soryu will just complicate things."

"Shinji…what have you got that's worth losing from this opportunity?" Toji said bluntly. "You don't have a girlfriend. You live alone. You only hang with me and Kensuke. And the only thing that you do other than that is to work or play piano…or cook, but that's really falls into hanging with me and Kensuke."

"And your point is…" Shinji said, not comprehending.

"That you're leading a fairly unfulfilled life, man."

"And you think that taking on even more work is going to solve that," Shinji asked skeptically.

"No. I'm just pointing out that what you're defending really isn't much. So what's the point in resisting more work and earning more money if that's all you really do?"

Shinji opened his mouth and closed it, stunned by Toji's clear logic. "Toji…how did you get such horrible grades back in high school?"

Toji shrugged. "Eh, laziness."

* * *

"Wait, wait."

"What is it now, Satsuki?" Asuka asked exasperatedly.

"Our mike isn't working properly. Stand by."

Asuka held back a groan. They'd been at this for eight hours! Any longer and she'd be late to her PR agent's meeting…again. Ever since the other day with her first disastrous meeting, she was determined to show the guy up. The prick thought that she was just some spoiled princess and Asuka wanted so much to prove him wrong. Not that she cared about his opinion, of course. What made things even worse was that Hikari wasn't here to help her with the meeting. Her wayward assistant was off on her usual Friday night dinner with her old high school friends. On the other hand, it wasn't as though she just ignored her employer. Hikari did invite her to come every time. It was times like these that she was reminded of the sparse amount of friends she really had. In fact, Hikari was the only one she felt that she could trust. The innocent brunette was the only refuge Asuka had other than music and acting. Music…it was brilliant, what else could she say? Every time she breathed into the mike, it breathed back to her. It was like nothing else existed except for her. Asuka knew it was selfish, but in that world, she was alone and there was nobody to judge her soul when it lay so naked.

Not singing right now made her feel vulnerable despite the muted coverings of the studio. There was no covering to mask her soul from prying eyes. It was a double blinder when she sang. People thought that she was just doing it for the money and that those songs were shallowly developed. In reality, they were things from deep within her soul, but the only reason she could sing them is precisely because people that they were a lie. A double blinder was where Asuka felt safe. She shared her heart and nobody knew.

"Okay. We're back up."

"About time," Asuka huffed.

"Sorry for the wait. Sing to your heart's content."

Asuka smiled a little. She had no idea.

* * *

"All right," Shinji muttered to himself as he walked through Roppongi. "You're trapped in this. No way to get out. Either man up and deal with it or just miser in these circumstances. I don't even have that much to lose anyways. _Toji_ of all people pointed that out."

Soryu emailed him instructions to meet in another place: Cubed3. Shinji grimaced as he glanced at the message again. Judging from the ridiculous name, it was in all likelihood to be a horribly pretentious artiste place…again. What the hell was up with the name? A cube cubed? That was not only horrible math, it was horrible naming. As he turned the corner, the grimace grew worse. It was shaped like a sphere. Somewhere Euclid was turning in his grave.

After an hour and a half of waiting in line, Shinji finally made it to the front. The bouncer in front grunted as he glared balefully at Shinji. A large line of scantily clad clubbers glared from the behind. Shinji felt immensely nervous.

"Uh. I'm Shinji Ikari. I was put on Ms. Soryu's guest list?"

The bouncer glanced up and down Shinji's form and to his list, evaluating his clothing and deemed it too average to fit there. Shinji for his part never wore anything other than slacks and a dress shirt. Occasionally he wore a tie, but only when they were required.

"There is a Shinji Ikari on this list, but you can't come in dressed like _that_."

"What's wrong with this?" Shinji asked tiredly. He just wanted to have the meeting and head to Toji's house to hang out like usual.

The bouncer cocked an eyebrow. "I wouldn't know where to begin."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Shinji demanded indignantly.

"Let me put it this way, you know of Richard Simmons?"

"Yeah…"

"You look like his hairdresser," the bouncer said evenly. He was used to dealing with guys like this. It was even better that he felt that in a fight, he could easily handle the badly dressed man before him. The bouncer looked like he outweighed Shinji over 50 pounds in muscle.

Shinji's eye twitched in irritation. Just a quick meeting, Shinji repeated to himself over and over again to keep from getting too incensed.

"Besides it's not up to me. The club owners set dress policy. I just follow their orders."

"I just need to meet Ms. Soryu for a quick business meeting. I'll be real quick. So…"

"You still can't walk in there dressed like that."

"It's only for a minute. I _don't_ plan on staying there all night."

"Sorry. Unless you change into more suitable clothes." The bouncer gestured to the increasingly irate line behind Shinji.

Shinji had enough. He was tired, annoyed, and sick of being jerked around by the pop princess, the elitist attitudes, and the ridiculous bouncer. He entered what Toji and Kensuke deemed 'ultimate bastard mode' (courtesy of his father).

"Let me in." Shinji's tone never changed from its dull, sober monotone. He never raised his voice. He didn't need to. It felt as though there was a tangible knife under his voice and with a single word, it would slash the unfortunate guard's throat.

The bouncer gulped. Now he was aware of what he was facing. Skinny wimpy looking guys always seemed like nice pushovers, but there was always the rare chance that you got one of the crazy ones. And the crazy ones tended to be the scariest thing that anybody could face.

"Y-yes sir!" The bouncer immediately stepped aside.

Shinji smiled gratefully and made a short bow. "Thank you."

The bouncer just nodded nervously. Shinji frowned as he stepped inside the club. He felt guilty for pressuring the poor man like that. However, he was a good study of human behavior and knew that the man was not going to stand aside unless a sufficient amount of force and intimidation was applied. Negotiation would have taken too long. In another time, Shinji would have made an excellent interrogator. He looked around for the most exclusive and opulent part of the club. Asuka would undoubtedly be at the center of it. Soon enough, his assumptions were confirmed. There was a second tier with a spiral staircase and a second bouncer at the door.

Another bouncer at the door. Shinji didn't trust him to be more understanding than his counterpart at the door.

"What are you doing here, little man? Get back there before I break your bony ass."

Shinji hated it when he was right. He unleashed his Gendo glare again.

"I'm on the guest list. Ms. Soryu is expecting me."

Without another word, he walked past the second bouncer. The large muscular man didn't bother to stop him, standing stock still in sheer terror. Crazy guys were always the most trouble.

"Huh." Shinji stopped a moment to witness the den of excesses and unrestrained desires of the affluent.

There was a man and a woman playing backgammon…naked.

"I am a pilgrim in an unholy land," Shinji muttered to himself whimsically. He had to find Soryu.

"Hey there cutie."

Shinji froze. More time is going to be wasted he just knew it. He turned around and prayed that it would be brief.

"Don't be shy," crooned the girl. Shinji recognized her from some daytime soap. He never liked soaps.

"I'm not shy. I'm looking for my client," Shinji said calmly.

"Oh. Well I can pay much better and I'll be gentler." She said coquettishly, thinking him to be in the oldest profession in the world.

Shinji sensed this and set the record straight as bluntly as he could.

"I'm a PR manager. I only need to be here for a short time. You can find someone better in that time."

Shinji turned around dismissively and walked towards Asuka. Once again, his patience had worn thin. He was missing on some prime time with his friends and an abundance of food. Unfortunately, he anticipated getting into a food contest with Toji and Kensuke as usual and didn't eat lunch to prepare. Shinji internally whispered to his grumbling stomach to wait.

He spotted Soryu sandwiched between two handsome buff men who happened to be shirtless. Shinji winced as he realized that he had a lot of work to do.

"Ahem."

All three turned to look at him.

"Excuse me. May I borrow Ms. Soryu for a moment?"

The two men exchanged glances.

"Look, man. She's with us. Now bug off." The three proceeded to gyrate in unison. Soryu waved at Shinji to wait. In her mind, this was the perfect payback for all his rudeness. He would be forced to just sit there uncomfortably among the people that he disdained while she danced the whole night away. In reality she had no serious intentions of meeting with him. She just wanted to humiliate and irritate him. When she was finally done dancing, she would just send him away, saying that it was too late to talk business. At which point, he would be exhausted and slink away home, having wasted his entire night.

Shinji cringed at the spectacle. Now he was near his breaking point. He'd been snubbed, threatened, insulted, thought to be a hooker, treated to this horrific sight, and worst of all he was _hungry_. There seemed to be no end for Shinji's use of ultimate bastard mode.

"I am not hitting on her," Shinji said in clipped tones. "Stand aside and let me speak with my client or I'll make you."

The two men exchanged glances and prepared to rip the scrawny little man a new one until they saw the look in his eyes. The dynamic oily duo backed off. What they saw was a fate worse than death and colder than the Arctic Circle.

"Now, Ms. Soryu?"

Asuka was too shocked at the show of steel her manager demonstrated to protest as he dragged her to a quieter corner of the room.

"What the hell was that!" Asuka demanded.

"I apologize for inconveniencing you," Shinji said sardonically. "But I do have plans tonight other than catering to your every whim."

"Hey! I'm your employer." She could hear her plans of revenge crashing around her.

"By force," Shinji pointed out.

"Tomato, tomahto," Asuka said unabashed. "Anyways, you were totally spoiling my fun out there."

"_Your_ fun? What I just witnessed was a sight that can never be unseen short of a lobotomy."

"Like there'd anybody would notice."

"Well-forget it. Let's just get to business. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner I can leave this place and you can get back to." Shinji waved dismissively at the increasingly sulky duo.

"Fine," Asuka scoffed.

Shinji leaned back in his abstractly designed stool and considered the woman before him. She defiantly returned his gaze, thinking he was trying to psyche her out. However, this was far from the truth.

"Asuka…what do you want out of your career?" Shinji asked soberly.

"What?" Asuka was caught off guard. "Aren't you going to give me a bunch of bullshit advice like last time?"

"No. That was when I thought it was a meaningless consult. If I'm going to be your agent, I have to know what _you_ want out of this. I won't force you to become something that you don't want to be. Your public image is something that _you_ have to decide. Not your studio. They just want profit. And they would get it even if you robbed an orphanage. Your stardom is that big. But it's all meaningless if you're not putting the image you want. That'll lead to unhappiness and depressed stars often make stupid decisions that worsen their image in the long run. I can help, but the decision is ultimately yours. Now what do you want?"

Asuka paused. Fame of course, right? She opened her mouth, but something stopped her. It wasn't an answer. It was an excuse. What she really wanted was already achieved, but could only remain so by being secret. Shinji shrewdly eyed her and carefully dissected every shift in expression. Why did she hesitate? She was just another empty headed pop star right? But the fact that she hesitated to answer meant that there was something else.

"I…want to be famous," Asuka said lamely, dissatisfied with her answer. It was true in part at least.

"I see…well, good bye." Shinji stood up abruptly and strode to the door.

Asuka was surprised. That was it? The first one to ask that kind of question of her. The first man to actually consider what _she_ wanted deep down was leaving?

"W-wait! Is that all?"

"If you want to be famous, you don't need me. You have enough talent, attractiveness, and drive to do that all by yourself. You already _have_ done it. You don't need a PR manager if that's all you want out of your career. I can just sit back and collect my paychecks until there's a huge enough scandal that requires me to step in and make a quick cover up. Until then, have a nice night, Ms. Soryu. I believe those gentlemen will," Shinji said, formally bowing.

"Wait!" Asuka shouted as she chased after him, fighting the dancing crowd and the deafening technobeat pulsating in the air. "Wait!"

"What is it, Ms. Soryu?" Shinji asked tiredly. He had enough of her world and her little games. If she didn't give a damn about the people she hurt, then there was nothing he could work with. Sure, he could cover things up by lying, but ultimately as he learned the hard way, the truth always comes out and with a vengeance when it regards celebrities.

"We're not finished yet."

"I believe we are if that's all you wanted from my services," Shinji said brusquely.

Asuka looked shocked. She didn't know why she wanted his respect, but the desire dominated her thoughts. "Just wait! Follow me."

She grabbed his hand and walked him to a private side room in the corner. Shinji was bewildered. What more did she want?

Making sure that the door was closed, Asuka glanced back at the man. He was looking out at the window. A breathtaking view of the city was visible, but Shinji looked out with disinterest. "What is it now? If I'm any later, she'll be pissed."

By 'she', Shinji meant Hikari. The last time he was late to a Friday night dinner she took it out on Toji. Toji didn't walk straight for a week afterwards. Shinji cared too much about his friend to put him through that again.

Asuka blinked owlishly. This guy had a girlfriend? She shook her head. This wasn't the task at hand. "I wanted to tell you in private."

Shinji raised an eyebrow. Since when did she trust him with something private? He was a complete (and rude) stranger. Something was up.

"What I want is…" The words weren't coming out. She tried again after a deep breath. After repeating this routine several times, Asuka finally just gave and stood in awkward silence.

"Ms. Soryu. You brought me here to waste my time didn't you?" Shinji applied pressure to coax the truth.

No response.

"I'm sorry for being so disrespectful to you before, but what's past is past and it's childish to just keep me here out of some desire for payback. If you want I'll let you take a shot at me, but I need to be out of here soon," Shinji said in a calculated maneuver. She was on the cusp of telling him. He knew that she had to have some decency in her to work with.

Once again, she didn't answer him. Shinji sighed and rubbed his temples.

"If that's all, I'm leaving and please don't stop me."

With hand just about to turn the door knob, he finally heard her answer.

"I want to be the next Momoe Yamaguchi." It was little more than a whisper, but it rang clearer than anything that she said to him on the noisy dance floor.

Shinji smiled in satisfaction. His hunch was right. She wasn't just an airhead. Now he had something to work with. He may not have been happy with the situation, but he had to admit that there was something pleasant about having a deduction confirmed. There was still something being held back, but that could wait. He turned around to face her. Asuka looked harried in her skimpy dress, but her eyes shone with determination. However, a flicker of hesitation and fear passed her eyes as she met his.

"That's a lofty goal. She was incredibly well respected in her time. Truly loved by all her fans, not just admired for her music and acting. A true cultural icon that to this day is still begged to come back to the scene. Are you sure you're up for trying to live up to that standard?"

Asuka nodded firmly, unsure of why she didn't dare speak. The realization of what she really wanted left her speechless.

"All right. Let's have a meeting later. A real one." Shinji impressed on Asuka. "I'll send your office the details later."

He finally left without her stopping him. Asuka stared at the door for a moment before slumping against the wall. How the hell did he just change the status quo? _She_ was supposed to be pulling the strings, not him. He kept challenging her, but always in some controlled polite manner. This Ikari seemed so mild and slight especially compared to his father, but somehow he managed to intimidate two men who must have had a good fifty pounds of muscle on him and dragged out a secret she never told anyone before, not even Hikari. Hikari! Surely she would be helpful in sorting out her confused thoughts!

Asuka pulled out her cell phone. "Hikari? Can I talk to you?"

"Uh, Asuka. You know I love you and all, but this is _my_ time with my boyfriend and friends."

"I'm a friend."

"Yeah, but I have a commitment to them on this night, every Friday. Sorry, but you can talk to me about it in the morning."

"Um…does your invitation to your place to meet them still stand?"

Hikari blinked bewilderedly. Asuka must have been desperate. She denied all other invitations to her dinners because she'd rather go clubbing instead of hanging with friends. It wasn't that Asuka was a snob. She just had different tastes.

"Yeah sure, but why-"

"Great! I'll be over in an hour."

Hikari tried to finish her sentence, but Asuka already hung up.

"Um, honey?"

"Yeah Hikari?"

"Do you mind if my friend Asuka comes over?"

"Your friend the _pop star_?"

"Yeah…"

Toji grinned evilly as he anticipated the oncoming entertainment. "Sure. Whatever you want dear."

* * *

A/N: I know. I know. I said that I'd write the next chapter to Pick up lines, but so far plot development's been a bitch and I've been in a funk lately, so I needed to write something light to cheer myself up. Oh for people who don't know Momoe Yamaguchi, she was a massively popular pop idol in the 70s. She ended her career to look after her kids and get married, which considering the careers of today's artists is actually pretty respectable and understandable. She really is still looked on as a huge icon and a major influence in the direction of Japan's music. So for Asuka to want to be like her says a lot. By the way, at this point, Asuka does not like Shinji in any romantic sense yet. She's more intrigued than anything because he managed to bring out what she really wanted in life. Also, for those of you who don't know, Roppongi is a region of Tokyo that is famous for its night scene (and Yakuza presence). Rei might be mentioned in the next chapter, but that depends on how I feel this week. Until then, good night.


	3. Speed Eating is a Sport?

Disclaimer: I do not own NGE to the relief of Gainax Studios and that depressed genius Hideaki Anno

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**Speed Eating is a Sport?**

"Come on Asuka! It'll be a good night!"

"Sorry Mouri, Hanabishi. Some other time," Asuka replied apologetically to the two men.

Asuka passed the sweating duo without a backwards glance. Her mind was churning over numerous different outfits that she had. She obviously couldn't arrive at Hikari's house, dressed like this! As she walked out the club door, a massive group of photographers flashed their cameras at her.

"Ms. Soryu! Is it true that you go to retirement homes to beat on senior citizens!"

"Do you currently have a lesbian relationship with your agent's wife?"

Asuka ground her teeth and quickly fled to her car. After avoiding the frenzy of paparazzi following her, Asuka came to her penthouse.

"You? Home early?"

"Misato, don't you have anywhere else to freeload off of? Where's Kaji?" Asuka asked exasperatedly.

"Your agent, my _oblivious_ fiancée is down in Canada on business. Couldn't have picked a worse time," Misato replied lazily as she lounged on the sofa. " 'sides I just finished another show."

"This was the medical one right?"

Misato nodded through a mouthful of potato chips. "So why are _you_ home early?"

"None of your business."

Misato leaned forward, revealing her substantial cleavage through a v-neck sweater. "Don't be like that. Tell big sister."

"You know that I'm straight and a girl right? I'm going to see Hikari, all right? Now I'll see you tomorrow. Good night," Asuka said evasively.

"Whoa, whoa. Hold on! Why do you need to talk to Hikari now of all times?" "Just need to. Don't worry about it. Go back to your beer." Asuka swiftly went for the door, but unfortunately Misato was not as languorous as she looked then. In the blink of an eye, Misato leaped from the sofa and blocked the door.

"Slow down. Tell big sister."

"I think you're about five years too old to be 'big sister', Misato."

"Shut up. Just tell me."

"No," said Asuka tersely. "Just go back to your show all right? I'll be back in an hour and we can talk then."

"Asuka, I may not be your 'big sister' but I am your friend, so spill." Misato crossed her arms defiantly.

Asuka could see no way out of it. Part of her was glad that Misato cared that much about her, but another part was irked about her nosiness. "Fine! You can follow me there, but don't bother Hikari too much!"

"Follow? I'm driving!" Before Asuka noticed, Misato was out the door and held the key to Asuka's car.

"Dammit Misato! Don't drive! I'm begging you!" Asuka screamed in hot pursuit of the violet headed woman.

* * *

Shinji wiped a tiny amount of drool from his mouth. After so long, he was about to reach the promised land. At long last, he would finally satisfy his hunger. He, Toji, and Kensuke exchanged glances as they prepared for battle.

Hikari tiredly looked on in the background, hand to her forehead and questioned why she was friends with so many idiots.

"All right. Ready, set, go…"

All three men's hands were blurs across the sticks of yakitori, yakiniku, and pancakes of okonomiyaki. Under three minutes, all but one piece of food was left. Toji's eyes flashed with determination as he sighted the last yakitori stick and reached, but a sudden block! Shinji grinned as he kept Toji occupied with one hand and sought victory with the other. Alas he made the tactical mistake of forgetting that there was one remaining opponent to his conquest of the food. Kensuke took advantage of the split second where Shinji and Toji were fighting each other to grab victory.

"Argh!" groaned Shinji.

"I can't believe that we missed that!" Toji growled in frustration as he observed Kensuke performing a victory dance (a mixture of the robot, the worm, and the safety dance).

Hikari pinched the bridge of her nose. "What _is_ this game anyways? You don't even need the stopwatch. You guys just compete to see who can grab the most food."

"The stopwatch is for posterity. It can't be called a sport without running down the clock," Kensuke said as he did a particularly complex move.

"This isn't a sport. This is an eating contest."

"One of the purest sports out there," the trio chorused.

"…Why do I hang out with you idiots?" Hikari asked herself exasperatedly.

"Because you're in love with our idiot best friend."

Toji and Hikari shared a glare at both of them, but caught each other doing it and blushed. At the same time, Shinji and Kensuke shared a smirk from their reactions.

"So who's up for some cards? Backgammon?"

Shinji flinched, unholy images of what occurred earlier flashed through his mind. "NO!"

All three blinked in confusion at his outburst. Shinji blushed.

"I-I just feel like I need some more exciting. Like um Halo."

"Okay…" Toji said slowly.

"…we've still got the rest of the dinner," Hikari said irritably, annoyed at their antics and her boyfriend's inattention after the display of affection before.

"Come on you know you want to see Toji massacred," Kensuke said.

Hikari pretended to contemplate the idea, scaring the hell out of Toji in the process. There were times that he wondered whether she took things like that literally.

"Uh, dear?" Toji said nervously. "Y-you really wouldn't like that right?"

No response as Hikari turned her gaze to her boyfriend. Toji broke out in a cold sweat. He vividly remembered when she was last pissed. If this was any indication of an escalation in her punishments, he might not survive long enough to try and propose to her. Hikari internally smirked. It was so fun teasing him.

Shinji decided to take pity (as a fellow victim of yandere women). "So Kensuke, speaking of massacred, remember how fun your 20th birthday party was?"

Kensuke's eyes widened and gasped. "I-I-I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Oh really?" Shinji smirked evilly. "I seem to recall you imbibing an exorbitant amount of alcohol and with a mariachi band, you-"

"So Halo!" Kensuke said in forced enthusiasm. Toji shot a grateful grin to Shinji.

* * *

Misato drove. Despite Asuka's protests that they could just use the chauffeur, she drove. In the process of driving, Misato broke at least two food stands, nearly committed vehicular manslaughter a dozen times, and shaved off 5 years of Asuka's life. The red haired foreigner stepped out of the car unsteadily.

"Never. Again," Asuka rasped. "Never ever again."

"Come on. It wasn't that bad. I didn't even get a ticket!" To Misato, it was a good day when she didn't have a ticket.

"That's because you went so fast that nobody could see what car it was that almost killed them!"

"And that's good in my book."

_I'd hate to see what constitutes as __**bad**__ in her book._ Asuka thought.

"So you want to talk to Hikari? Why not me?"

"Because she gives good advice."

"Ouch."

"Let's just go."

After an excruciatingly long ride in the elevators (made so by Misato's incessant jabber), Asuka finally came to the apartment. She heard explosions and the sounds of fake gunfire. Video games? Asuka arched an eyebrow. Already she was wary of Hikari's friends, but she still knocked the door for lack of better options.

"Hey, Asuka. Come on in."

Misato followed Asuka in the apartment. It occurred to Asuka that she'd never seen the inside of Hikari's apartment before. There were pictures of flowers around and duvet covers. Obviously her boyfriend had no hand in the decorations. Asuka voiced her opinion of it.

"Oh that? Nah, that's Toji. It's funny, I thought he would be a typical guy with nothing more than a beanbag chair and keg for furniture. To my surprise, he's actually good at interior design. He's in the next room with the rest. Well, just two guys really. We probably shouldn't bother them for another half hour."

"Why?" Misato asked.

"Actually, I doubt you could bother them. They're playing the latest Call of Duty or something. I've tried to get Toji out of a game haze before and nothing worked. When he's together with those two, nothing short of a nuclear holocaust could distract them and if only for a second."

"I see," Asuka said quietly, not really interested.

"So what's up Asuka?" Hikari was more than a little curious as to why she would be so desperate to come now.

"Um well…" Asuka was now speechless. She went all this way and only to wimp out at the last moment.

Hikari watched her employer/best friend carefully. Why was she acting so shy now? She never acted shy. Even on camera, Asuka kept taking on roles exhibiting and highlighting her strong personality traits. Hikari always thought Asuka's adherence to type roles was part of the reason why she never changed her attitude even in the press. Of course, she never voiced her concern because she knew Asuka would never take that explanation to heart. On the other hand, that PR agent Asuka met before seemed to be pretty dead on about her. The PR agent.

"Does this have anything to do with your meeting today?" Hikari asked shrewdly.

"Erk!" Right on target. "Y-yes."

"So? What's going on?" Hikari asked concerned.

"He-I, shirtless, Yamaguchi." Words failed Asuka at the moment.

"Asuka calm down. Take a deep breath and explain slowly." Hikari ordered, bemused. Misato just enjoyed the show as much as Hikari did. They'd never seen Asuka so off balance.

"O-okay." Asuka breathed in and out. "I met with the PR agent today. I set the meet to piss him off after his treatment at the first one."

"And?"

"It failed." Asuka deadpanned. "I mean if he was just an even bigger jerkass than before I could take it, but he did it in a way that…wasn't jerkassy…"

Asuka ended lamely on the last word, her mind in disarray.

"What did he do?" Misato was fascinated now. It was rare for Asuka to turn nouns into adjectives.

"He was honest. He didn't pull punches nor did he give any more than needed. He…actually thought about what I wanted."

"And that's bad…?" Hikari was confused as to what the big deal was.

"Yes! No! God, I don't know! I'm so confused."

Misato smiled maliciously. She sensed a great teasing opportunity.

"So…is he cute?"

"What!"

"Well, the only thing that can you flustered like that is a real hottie right? And knowing your track record, he must be hung like a horse if he can get you this hot and bothered."

Asuka knew there was no way out of this. "I-it's not like that! He's just an asshole working for me!"

"You never answered my question."

Hikari jumped on the taunting bandwagon. "Yeah, you're the only one who's met him so far. Me and Misato have only heard of him."

"You heard his voice on the phone," Asuka pointed out.

"Not really. After the first word, you kinda yanked it to yourself."

Misato was now getting antsy. She needed gossip in lieu of her boredom. "What does he look like!"

"Fine. He really doesn't have any prominent features about him…except his eyes. They were blue, which is pretty weird for someone Japanese," Asuka mused.

"It's not that weird, I have a friend who has blue eyes too," Hikari said.

"Is he Japanese?"

"Yeah, in fact he's in the other room, want to see?" Hikari pointed to the living room.

"Um…sure." Asuka really didn't, but she had to admit that some part of her was curious about the people Hikari hang around so often. She peeked a little out the doorway, but Hikari just dragged her out. Misato followed Hikari's example and wholeheartedly grabbed Asuka's other arm.

"Don't worry about looking like a stalker, they won't notice."

The trio heard the boys shouting expletives at the TV as they cut down grunts. The men's backs were to the girls and faced the television with rapt attention.

"Dammit Toji! What are you doing with that plasma sword!"

"Shuddup! I gotta take down BaraccusBitch12! Yeah, suck my plasma!"

"Well stop dickin' around and man the warthog gun!"

Asuka's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates at the last voice. It couldn't be. Unfortunately her eyes were denying the satisfaction of self delusion. It was him! He was…wait she never quite got his name other than the fact that he was Mr. Ikari's son. Frankly she never needed to use anything other than his given name.

"Hikari…what's his name?"

"Uh…the blue eyed one? Shinji. Shinji Ikari."

"What does he do?" Misato asked, eyeing the man inquisitively. He looked familiar.

"He's a PR agent for some big firm…" Hikari turned to look at Asuka who grimaced. The reaction. Blue eyes yet Japanese. PR agent. The dots connected in no time. Unfortunately it was Misato who voiced it.

"Hikari's friend is your PR manager!"

Asuka covered Misato's mouth. "Shut up! Don't just announce it to the world!"

"R-really? I guess it makes sense," Hikari said slowly.

"How does this crazy Twilight Zone moment make sense!" Asuka groaned, relinquishing her grip on Misato's mouth to rub her own forehead.

"Well, I guess I should have realized it was Shinji from the start because he's usually pretty blunt about everything. And according to him, it's a pretty rare trait among people in his business. I blame his father, but he does have a way to cut into the heart of the matter."

"How long have you known this guy?" Misato asked.

"Since college. Toji's one of his best friends, so when I started dating him, I got to be friends with him and Kensuke over there in the glasses."

"Nevertheless I have to get out of here!" Asuka hissed.

"What? Why?"

"Oh I don't know. The guy I wanted to talk to you about is sitting within earshot!"

"Please. Those guys will be preoccupied for the next hour at the rate they're going," Hikari said reassuringly. "Watch. Hey guys, I'm pregnant!"

"Fuck! Contact left! Shinji, where the hell are you!"

"Cool your jets! I'm coming!"

"…Make that an hour and a half," Hikari amended. "Anyways what's on your mind, Asuka? What did Shinji say?"

"B-but" Asuka stuttered. She fell silent for a full minute, squirming under the gazes of Hikari and Misato. There was no getting out of it now. She spared a nervous glance at Shinji. After breathing heavily through her nose, she summoned the courage to tell them, but was promptly interrupted unexpectedly.

"Hey, Shinji, why were you late?" Kensuke asked as he jabbed frantically at the controller.

"I had a meeting with Ms. Soryu. Pick up the plasma rifle."

Asuka signaled for the only other girls in the room to be quiet. Curiosity about her new employee won out over her need to unload.

Kensuke nodded in remembrance. "Oh right. You were all pissy about it on the phone. I don't understand man. She's freaking hot as hell and you'll earn a lot more dough. What do you got to complain about?"

"One, I don't care about her looks. At least I can't. I'm her employee. It would be unprofessional if I tried to get involved with her. Not that it's even remotely possible considering the fact she's a fabulously wealthy and famous celebrity. Also, it would be way too much trouble to date a superstar like her."

Asuka angrily clenched her teeth. Too much trouble? Was that the way this guy saw her?

"And two, I don't care about money. What I make _right now_ is too much. I never spend it. No one to spend it on."

"Wow, you are one sad man." Toji commented before popping a fistful of cheese puffs in his mouth.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Shinji asked indignantly, eyes still trained on the TV.

Toji rolled his eyes and spoke through a mouthful of food. "Remember when I was talking to you in my store? You've really got nothing going on in your life. I mean, when was the last time you went on a date or even talked to a woman outside of Hikari, your mom, and that secretary?"

"So? Some men are islands. I might be Jamaica for all you know."

The girls exchanged silent glances. Hikari knew about Shinji's complete lack of a romantic life, but she never knew Shinji was so pessimistic about meeting somebody. Whereas Misato was fascinated about this information and wondered if this was the kind of guy Asuka liked now. Despite herself, Asuka felt an unexpected connection with the supposedly tacit man.

"Unless you have a cool accent and can bobsled like no other. Not a chance. Besides, if anyone could be an island, it would be your dad."

"That's racist and an outdated movie reference," Kensuke pointed out.

"If it's a good stereotype, it doesn't count," Toji said dismissively.

"No I'm pretty sure it's still racist. It's probably not even remotely true. It's like Asians and bad driving," said Shinji.

Asuka cast her gaze to her left at an obliviously grinning Misato. That stereotype might not be too far off.

"Forget it. The point is that you don't have much of a life. Working for this girl might be good for you."

Shinji just grunted and continued to play the game.

"What's so wrong about her anyways? It's not like she kicked your puppy." Kensuke inquired.

"Nothing's wrong," Shinji denied. "She's fine."

"Really?" Kensuke was surprised. He half expected her to be a real nut considering all the tabloid coverage. "She KO'd a sweet old lady and she's _fine_? I thought you'd have more scruples than that."

Asuka shook her head. She was never going to live that down, was she?

"It was by accident and I'll get it under control. She needs help and unfortunately for both of us, I'm the guy to provide it."

"What do you mean 'for both of us'?" Toji mumbled through a new handful of cheese puffs in his mouth.

Asuka silently praised Hikari's boyfriend for asking the question she couldn't voice for fear of being discovered.

"I'm unlucky because I didn't even want the job. She's unlucky because I'm the guy who has the job."

"Why's she unlucky?"

Yeah. Why am I unlucky? Asuka thought to herself. From what she could see, he was a consummate professional at his job, perfectly qualified to work under her. It's not as though he was going to screw up his job.

"Because I'm not exactly devoted. I never really wanted to join public relations to begin with and she needs someone who actually gives a damn about her. I just don't know her well enough to really care. I know it sounds bad, but at this point she's a complete stranger and why should I care if I don't know who she is?"

"Sounds complicated. What do you know about her then?"

Asuka inched a little closer to hear.

"Hm. Well, from my first conversation with her. She's a selfish, bitchy, trendy diva with little concern for any other person than herself."

Hikari and Misato nervously glanced at Asuka as she twitched in repressed wrath.

"The second talk just confirmed it…but I saw some redeeming qualities. Still, that doesn't erase the fact that I saw things in that club that no man should ever have to witness."

"Like what?"

"Let's just say any and all card games at this moment are ruined for me." Shinji coughed nervously and blushed furiously. "But anyways, she's someone outside of me. I have no clue about what goes on in her little world of excess and privilege. And she has no clue how it is to be raised ordinary."

"I guess that's true. Despite your 'rents being freaking rich, they raised you pretty normal." Toji emerged from his game haze long enough to notice Asuka standing awkwardly next to Hikari. He smirked evilly. "So what do you _feel_ about her?"

"Wha?" Shinji mumbled. He was too engrossed in acquiring a Scorpion tank. "Um…I don't know. Not much. I've spoken to her twice. All I feel is that she's a good enough person for me to work with."

"Well something must've convinced you about her to take on the job in spite of it all."

Misato chanced a peek at her foreign friend and grinned. Asuka was holding her hands nervously. This was new. Since when did Asuka care about the opinion of any man?

Shinji paused. "She's…got character."

"That's it?" Toji looked disappointed. Oddly enough, Asuka shared the same expression, but with a layer of curiosity.

"Yup."

"So what does that mean? Is it good? Bad?" Kensuke piped up.

"What I mean is that…in our second meeting I saw something in her that I can work with. That it'll be worthwhile to spend my time and energy on as opposed to the spoiled pop princess I was expecting. We may not like each other, but I can respect her in a way."

Shinji then focused intently on the game, signaling that the discussion was over. Kensuke and Toji took the hint and followed suit.

Asuka stood staring at Shinji's back for a minute. Without even knowing it, the irritating man resolved her issue within minutes and for some reason that pissed her off in a way.

"I'm going home now. Thanks for putting up with me Hikari. See you on Monday."

"But we never talked!"

"It's all right now. See you on Monday," said Asuka with a tone of finality.

Hikari knew better than to stop Asuka when she took that voice, so she waved good bye to both Misato and her employer. As she closed the door, she leaned against it and wondered exactly what was up with her best friend. It couldn't be that Asuka actually gave a damn about Shinji's opinion, right? Ah well, it wasn't her problem until Monday at least.

* * *

"Any reason why you just packed up and left there?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Asuka snapped.

"Okay I've had enough of this!" Misato stopped Asuka mid stripe and stood in front of the car door. "What the hell is going on? I know you have your mood swings, but this is above and beyond. What is it about this guy that bugs you so much!"

"I already told you. I don't want to talk about it!"

"Then answer me this at least. What do you think about him?"

"What are you-"

"Cut the bullshit! I'm your friend. You can trust me!"

"…I respect him. Satisfied?"

Misato looked nonplussed. "You respect him after he called you a 'bitchy diva'?"

"I didn't like that part, but…he was honest. More so than you or Hikari. And maybe that's what I need a little bit of right now. I mean so far subterfuge and lying hasn't worked well for my image, so why not some honesty? Also, I know he isn't someone interested in doing me, so I know I can work with him…I think he's a man whose opinion I can trust."

"Okay." Misato nodded. It was rare for Asuka to admit a measure of respect for any man especially with her father issues. This Shinji guy had to be something special to get Asuka of all people to respect him. She opened the car door.

"Wait, Misato. I'm driving."

"I've got the keys, so tough luck."

"Come on! I don't need a second near death experience in the same day!"

"Relax. You're not going to do die. By the way is your insurance all paid up?"

"Misato!" Asuka whined. "I'm begging you! Let me drive!"

Misato just grinned and motioned for Asuka to take shotgun. Asuka just grumbled and stomped to the other side of the car. Shaking her head, Misato started up the car and thought _this guy has to be something special indeed to get this girl so fired up. _

_

* * *

_

"Are you sure that Shinji is up for taking care of Asuka's situation?" Fuyutsuki asked nervously.

"Yes. Her tour season is coming up and we need to prepare the way for her to challenge Second Impact. Have faith," Gendo said in his usual monotone.

"All right. I hope your son is up for the task though."

"Knowing him, he's most likely panicking over having to deal with a client that big. But no worries. He is an Ikari and if there is one thing we're known to do, it is to handle crisis with even tempers."

"And how to breed and attract insane women," Fuyutsuki commented lightly.

"…Don't remind me." Visions of his and Yui's courtship were still wildly vivid in Gendo's mind. "Her first concert is in Tokyo for the tour next Saturday."

Fuyutsuki leafed through the reports and statistics on the table. "Do you think Shinji can clear up her reputation enough by then? So far we're seeing projections of low attendance as a result of her antics as of late. Despite her fame, people are not amused with those incidents."

"He'll have to. Or else Asuka might be finished before she turns 30."

* * *

A/N: Yup, it's a double update. Admittedly I haven't been working on this as much as my serious fic, but that's because it requires more love due to its huge size. This is something that I want to use a lighthearted approach. Next chapter is the first crisis Shinji has to face as his job entails. The real work starts now for him and God help him because Asuka sure won't be helping much. Till then, good night.


	4. Philistines in Sporting Goods

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or any of its wonderfully psychologically fucked up characters.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**Philistines in Sporting Goods**

"It's been four days since we last met! Why the hell hasn't he called yet!"

"Asuka, relax. It's not like you to worry over some guy not calling," Misato said languidly as she lounged on Asuka's sofa again.

Asuka paced frantically. "That's because it's never happened before!"

"Careful. You sound like you're dating him."

Asuka stopped mid-step to glare and opened her mouth when the phone rang.

Misato grinned at the great timing. "Aren't you going to answer it?"

"This isn't over yet." Asuka then stomped over to the phone. "Ikari! You better have a damn good explanation about why you're so late!"

To Asuka's surprise, a shy, feminine voice answered back. "U-um, Ms. Soryu, a Mr. Ikari is here to visit you."

"Oh! Er…sorry I thought you were….just send him up."

The receptionist eagerly hung up.

"Remind me to send her a signed CD of mine."

"Oh yes, that will make up for the psychological trauma."

"Shut up."

* * *

Kensuke shifted uncomfortably in his office chair. It was his lucky chair where he came up with some of the hottest dating sims to ever hit the market, but that didn't conceal the fact that it was old and tattered. Toji and Shinji often referred to it as "Kensuke's little Pain in the Ass".

"The real pain in the ass is them," Kensuke muttered.

"What was that?"

"Oh, uh nothing Makoto. Have you got any ideas for the next game?"

"None." Makoto leaned back in his chair and sighed. "I don't think we can consult the usual database of ideas. Most are stuff ripped out of anime. You know, childhood friends or maids or cat girls or childhood friends who happen to be cat girl maids. Gamers may like it, but we want to stand out. This is one of the hottest gaming companies out there."

Kensuke nodded sagely. "We need originality."

"Unfortunately originality requires life experience. While we may have had some girlfriends, I doubt any of us could actually write a decent love story without consulting another galge or anime."

"Yup," Kensuke concurred before taking a swig of his coffee.

"Man we need a new idea. If not, then our asses will be put on ice for a while. I mean we might end up having to take the butt monkey job of all butt monkey jobs."

"You don't mean," Kensuke gasped.

"Yes, we might have to program promotional tie-in games for shit like," Makoto shuddered before completing the sentence. "Twilight."

"Dammit Stephanie Meyer. Why did you have to write a book so ill suited for gaming!"

"Don't blame her. Blame the producers and merchandising people…greedy bastards," Makoto muttered.

"We need to get on this now. I like programming galges!" Kensuke loved his job, but gaming for movies was out of the question. Often he was handed a crappy script and rudimentary instructions…and that was it. It was as if the producers had no respect for the art of game programming or what games meant to people like him.

"How about a friend's life experiences?"

"Hm?"

"Well, we've established that we have no life experience to draw on for this, so why not borrow someone else's?"

Kensuke nodded in thought. A smile spread on his face as a friend came to mind. "I like it."

* * *

The elevator door dinged as it came up to the penthouse. A frazzled, unshaven Shinji Ikari shuffled up to the door. He sniffed his armpit and realized he hadn't taken a shower yet, but he was too exhausted to bother caring. Raising his arm, he tiredly readied his fist to knock, but he was interrupted midway to the door.

"Where have you been?" Asuka demanded, hands on her hips.

Shinji looked up through bleary eyes. "Saving your rep. Now can I come in to debrief you, Ms. Soryu?"

"Fine. What have you been doing then to 'save my rep'?" Asuka asked, unconvinced.

"Can I get a cup of water or something? I haven't had much time to eat…or sleep."

"Aww. That's too bad. You want me to make it better?" Misato said in a teasingly coquettish manner.

Unfortunately for Misato, Shinji was in a sleep deprived state and therefore immune to any outside stimulus, sexual or otherwise. "That's nice of you to offer. Now about that water?"

Asuka stomped to the fridge in an apparent bad mood. Misato looked disappointed that any man was immune to her teasing. However, Shinji was oblivious to all of this in favor of staring at his feet in weary fascination. After chugging the entire water bottle reluctantly handed to him, he coughed.

"All right. Time to get down to business."

" 'bout time," Asuka grumbled.

Shinji slumped on the sofa. "Zzzzz…"

"Dammit! Wake up!" Asuka violently shook Shinji who remained non-responsive. "Misato, help me out!"

"Zzzzzz…" Misato snored like a sailor.

"Misato!" Asuka barked.

"Hm? Oh sorry. I've still got a hangover, so…" Misato apologized.

"Just help me wake him up."

"I don't know. He looks pretty pooped. Why don't you let him sleep for an hour or two? You've waited four days. You can wait a little longer."

Finally taking in Shinji's disheveled appearance and the bags under his eyes, she resigned herself to letting him sleep. "Grr. Fine. Where's Hikari?"

"She's out getting lunch for us…but she should've been back by now." Misato checked her watch.

* * *

Hikari's eye twitched from repressed frustration. The man in front of her had been talking up the cashier for at least 20 minutes. The two were too busy flirting to notice that a burgeoning line was developing behind them (reaching a point where the line now circled the entire restaurant twice).

"I don't have much time to do stuff with all my shifts and we don't make much so I can't go out and spend much."

"So do you like listening to music?" the man asked flirtatiously.

"Yeah," the cashier answered coyly.

"I actually work closely with a lot of musicians and celebrities. I'm one of the top agents in a highly respected public relations firm."

"Oh!" the girl tittered in fascination.

Hikari rolled her eyes. She knew publicists and they were usually sleazy assholes with the exception of Shinji and that was because he was actually smart and never wanted to join it in the first place.

"Do I know anybody you've worked for?" The girl fluttered her eyelashes.

"Oh, I don't know. Have you ever heard of Asuka Langley Soryu?"

Hikari blinked in surprise. She leaned to the side to get a better look at his face. It was Asuka's agent before Shinji. Hikari racked her brains for the name.

"Oh my god! You worked for Asuka?"

"Well."

It then came to Hikari once she saw the smug smile at the corner of his mouth. Jiro Hasegawa. There were more than a few times that Hikari wanted to deck him (which Asuka later acted out).

"I wouldn't say just worked. We had a thing, but I had to move on, you know? She was getting clingy and needy. I want a girl who'll fight me a little."

Once again Hikari rolled her eyes. That was rich. She distinctly remembered the various attempts to flirt and hit on Asuka, but to no avail. At first Asuka was polite and thought that it was just harmless joking…until she found him wearing her panties. At that point, Asuka put her ass kicking skills to good use. Asuka didn't just fight him 'a little'. She fought him to a bloody pulp (without even getting so much as a scratch).

"Oh my god! I thought she was all bitchy and stuff!"

"Oh she is. Believe me." Jiro winced at all the phantom pains. "But she's also wild in bed. I mean she's a total nympho. Always wanting more of me. I couldn't take it! When I told her that, she went psycho on me! Total bitch you know. Maybe she was overcompensating. I got the vibe that she pitched for the other team."

Having had enough as Asuka's best friend, Hikari could not let this smear campaign to continue. So she walked up to the man and tapped him on the shoulder.

"What is it?" asked Jiro irritably. He then recognized Hikari's face, which was currently contorted into an expression of righteous female fury. "Oh, shi-"

Hikari leapt forward to give the most painful kneeing of the balls that has ever been given. This strike could make men speak falsetto for the rest of their natural life. This strike could feasibly end wars if threatened to any leader of a country. Jiro didn't stand a chance. He collapsed with all the grace of a falling sack of potatoes. She then looked at the line behind her as she realized that she just committed assault. However, all the people in the line (and indeed the entire restaurant) were conveniently looking away and most were actually giving her a thumbs-up for doing what should have been done ages ago.

"What did you just do!" screeched the cashier.

"What _did_ I just do? I believe that I just stood here in line, patiently waiting for my turn to pick up my order. Isn't that right, everybody?" Hikari smiled gracefully as though nothing had happened.

Every man, woman, and child in that line swiftly nodded their assent.

"Yup, yup. No doubt about it"

"Such a nice young woman for waiting so long."

"I didn't see nothing, did you?"

"Nope."

Hikari just grinned and asked, "So I made a lunch order an hour ago?"

Seeing no chance for witnesses on what just occurred, the cashier was defeated and resigned herself to picking up the order. In the meantime, Hikari watched Jiro rolling around on the ground, clutching the place of the assault. As she observed the ex-employee, she noticed that he had a black eye.

"Huh. Where did he get that?" Hikari mused to herself, oblivious to the admiring gazes of her fellow customers.

* * *

Shinji woke up with a snort. Someone was squeezing his nose. "Huh?"

"Wake up! I'm not paying you to sleep!"

"Technically, _you_ don't pay me. The record label does. But your point does stand. Just give me a moment." Shinji wiggled his right hand's fingers a little. His knuckles still stung. "Okay. We're having a conference tomorrow on Wednesday."

"What? Why?" Asuka looked supremely confused.

Shinji gave a self satisfied grin. "It took a lot of work and investigating, but I got it."

"Got what?"

"I looked into the incident with the old woman. That was the immediate issue that needed addressing. I didn't think that you'd try and punch an old woman for the sheer hell of it as the papers would suggest. You claimed that someone was groping you, but you missed in exacting justice."

"Yeah," Asuka muttered bitterly.

"Seeing as there was already a negative mindset against you and no evidence or witnesses, they didn't believe you."

"Obviously."

"All right…so I got proof."

"What? How?" Asuka was confused. None of the photographers there caught the Seele charity worker groping her ass. Nor did anyone actually see him do it.

"Turns out there were actually a photographer that caught him. Unfortunately he hates your guts and decided to withhold the evidence for the media circus. He also got a nice picture of you knocking out the old woman."

"Who was it! I'll kick his ass!" Asuka raged.

"In order to get the evidence, I had to agree not to reveal his name," Shinji lied, thinking that he didn't need to add first degree murder on his list of things to fix.

"Man, if he hated Asuka so much, then how did _you_ convince him?" Misato was very curious about the capability of the new agent.

"Let's just say that I'm not proud of what I did," Shinji said simply.

* * *

**What really happened**

Shinji stared intently at the oily man before him. The man stared back, the bristles of his walrus mustache moving according to each wheezy breath he took.

"You have a photograph of what really happened with Asuka's charity event, right? I'm willing to pay a fair price for them."

The man leaned back in his chair defiantly. "Maybe I do, maybe I don't."

"If you don't, certain photos of you and a young escort will be sent to your wife. I do say that you have quite…_interesting_ taste in what sort of activities you enjoy with young women especially with regards to sock puppets. You've been married for thirty years now, right? And she used to be a police officer right? Be a real shame if she knew about this and especially if she retained that police issue pistol, huh?" Shinji kept a blank face the entire time.

The man reddened at first in embarrassment, but then he paled as the threat dawned upon him. "All right, I do."

"I'm a man of fair trade. What do you say I give you 200,000 yen for those pictures?"

"300,000 yen."

"250,000 yen and that's my final offer."

"Done." The man reached into his drawer and handed Shinji a memory chip while Shinji handed an envelope full of cash. "Wait, what about the photos and my wife? Don't I get those too?"

Shinji chuckled. "Nope. Might need leverage one day. See you soon."

* * *

Shinji handed Asuka the memory card. She then quickly ran to her room and grabbed her laptop. Once the picture was on screen, Misato had to admit that it was damning stuff. The charity worker's hand was placed firmly on Asuka's rear, but what really completed the picture was the expression of outrage on Asuka's face and the one of unabashed lust on the worker's.

"Oh-ho-ho, this is _good_," Asuka said. "Now all this shit can be put to rest. I thought you were a useless asshole before, Ikari, I am sorry for ever thinking that. I'll see you tomorrow once you've gotten some rest."

"We're not done yet."

"Huh? What else is there?"

"Strangely enough, once I saw the name of the woman that you punched, an opportunity presented itself."

"An opportunity?" Asuka never knew the name of the old woman since she was too busy trying to apologize to her to actually ask. Unfortunately, the woman was too offended to care and bought into the media coverage about Asuka's temper and attitude.

"As it turns out, the woman is the grandmother of my secretary _and _a respected judge of the courts who happens to abhor sexual harassment. Her name is Kaori Hinamoto."

"Wait, I remember that name. Like two decades ago, she was famous for her exploits in the courts, constantly bringing down Yakuza bosses and corrupt politicians." Misato recalled.

"Huh. I've seen you before," Shinji said, finally noticing Misato.

"Well, we just met about an hour ago, so…"

"No, no, not that...I've got it! I remember listening to your stuff everywhere back in high school!"

Misato blinked in confusion. She had been at a huge level of popularity then. For Shinji to have not gotten who she was by now was simply astounding. "Not to sound bigheady, but I was unbelievably popular back then. How are you just recognizing this now?"

"Well, I never listened to pop in high school. I was busy-" Shinji's voice faded. "I was just busy."

"That's fine and all, but I would rather we get back on topic," Asuka interjected. "Why is it so important that she's a judge or your secretary's grandma?"

"Oh right, the subject. Well, through my secretary, I managed to secure a talk with her."

* * *

**Two Days Ago**

"So you're the youngster that Ran-chan works for." Kaori Hinamoto was a small, slender woman with a fierce countenance. Shinji could tell that in her prime, she would've been a looker and saw a great deal of resemblance to his secretary Ran.

"That would be me, ma'am."

"Now what was so urgent that you needed to speak with me?" Kaori tented her fingers and critically examined the young man before her. He looked harangued and tired, but his eyes shone with purpose.

"I work for Asuka Langley Soryu."

"The shallow princess that rudely punched me? If she's trying to apologize, I won't accept it."

"No, I'm not here to apologize," said Shinji.

"Oh?"

"I'm here to offer evidence. Ms. Soryu told you that she was sexually harassed by the Seele worker right?"

"Yes, but I do not believe it."

"How about I convince you otherwise?"

"I don't see how."

Shinji pulled a folder from his briefcase and handed it to Kaori. She flipped through its contents and her expression grew tighter and tighter with each photo. To Kaori's credit, she took the information in a very dignified manner.

"I suppose _I_ now owe Ms. Soryu an apology."

"No need for apology, but I would like your support."

Kaori looked suspiciously at Shinji. "In what?"

"I've done my research on you and I do remember you pushing for harsher guidelines for sexual harassment and the advancement of women's rights."

"Yes…"

"Well, I see a mutually beneficial opportunity for both my client and you."

"How so?" Kaori was more than a little curious.

"The way I see things, Ms. Soryu has been heinously robbed of her rights as a woman by having her personal space invaded and the man who has done it is not punished in any way whatsoever. In point of fact, he has been vindicated by this," Shinji said, eerily calm. He leaned forward in his chair and tented his fingers in a manner reminiscent of the infamous CEO of Nerv. "This cannot stand, especially for you, a champion for women's rights."

"Get to the point, sonny."

"I propose we make this man's misconduct public to the media with our own spin. With your backing, we can make this a war on misogyny and Ms. Soryu will be the face of this war. Think about it, she's already wildly popular, so by taking up this cause, Soryu will gather an immense amount of support for it with her fan base, so you should be very satisfied. And in return, Ms. Soryu will benefit by gaining higher respect for putting up with such intolerable media slander and championing equal rights. She won't just be a pop idol and pretentious diva; she'll be a pretentious diva who cares. So what do you think?" Shinji scrutinized the elderly woman sitting across from him.

"What if she isn't devoted to the cause and the media finds out about it? I'll have supported her. My reputation is at stake here too." Kaori arched one eyebrow.

"The deal is off if I even suspect for a second that Ms. Soryu isn't all in. I'm good at my job, Ms. Hinamoto. Ask your granddaughter. Your reputation is safe here either way."

"And what makes you think that Soryu's presence is necessary to bolster the progress of the feminist movement?"

"With all due respect, the movement is losing momentum. You and your generation have made significant progress in advancing women's rights, but as of present it's stagnant. Soryu could be the revival your movement needs. You stand to gain everything if it succeeds and lose nothing if it doesn't. So I ask again, are you in or out?"

"Don't act coy, you know I'm in."

Shinji nodded. "Thank you for your time. I'll call you for details. Good bye."

As he left for the door, Kaori spoke. "You're really not suited for PR, you know?"

"Hm?"

"I've had to deal with a few publicists as a lawyer and they lie like nobody's business. You, you're not a liar."

"Thank…you?" Shinji was confused, uncertain as to whether that was a compliment or not.

"So why did you join then?"

Shinji frowned. "That's personal."

* * *

Asuka felt numb. "What?"

"Of course, we've set up a meet for you and Ms. Hinamoto for you to consider how to ally," said Shinji, oblivious to anything other than the job.

"Hold on!"

Shinji continued to blather on, more to organize his thoughts than anything. This only incensed Asuka further.

"Get out, you incompetent asshole!"

Shinji was shocked. "Why?"

"Do I need to spell it out!"

"Are you offended at the cause? Because I thought-"

"Just get out!"

A flicker of regret and confusion crossed Shinji's face. He tried to ask why she was so obstinate about this, but to no avail. At last, Shinji's stamina was at its end and he decided to admit defeat for now and left.

Misato was surprised and angry for Shinji since he was too exhausted to fight at the moment. "Asuka, what. Are. You. Fucking thinking!"

"None of your business."

"Maybe, but that guy seemed devastated. He looked like he went through hell to get all of this set up, so why the hell are you just ignoring it all?"

"Because he never listened to me!" The words came out of Asuka's mouth before she knew it.

"What?"

"Forget I said anything." Asuka waved her hand dismissively, but her furrowed eyebrows and tightened expression told another story.

"No. I heard it. What did you mean by 'he never listened'?"

"It's nothing. Just forget it."

Misato crossed her arms and stared at Asuka expectantly.

"I said-"

"I know what you said," said Misato tersely.

"Fine! He was acting like a typical guy and not once did it occur to him throughout all his planning that I might not have wanted this! It's _my_ life!" Asuka shouted. "Not _his_."

"Typical-" Misato repeated incredulously. "He was doing his job! If you're not even going to listen to him, then don't bother hiring him!"

"Look, I don't need another man in my life to order me around!"

"Another? There was one to begin with?"

Asuka averted her gaze. "Not now. Not ever again. I don't want to talk about it. Can we move on?"

"What did you mean by 'another'?"

"My jerk of a dad years ago, all right? Can we please move on now?" said Asuka, her eyes silently begging Misato to let the matter drop.

"All right. But I want you to apologize to that guy."

"No way!"

"You were a complete bitch to him. I think he might have been insensitive about it, but you did not need to snap like that." Misato leveled an adamant gaze that left no room for negotiation.

"Okay, okay. I'll call him tonight."

"You'll _visit_ him."

Asuka shot a look. "I'll call. There's no need for me to come to his home."

"On the contrary, bitchiness of that level demands face to face communication. Look, if he messed up, then how can things ever get better if you just sit on your hands and never explain?"

"That's rich from the girl that locked her boyfriend in the pantry for two days."

"He left the toilet seat up!"

"He had no clothes! And it was winter!"

"Kaji's forgiven me for that by now…I think. Anyways, we're getting off topic. Don't call. Talk to him. Whatever I might have done, it doesn't make my point any less right."

Asuka couldn't refute that logic. "I don't know his address. I _do_ know his phone number, so…"

"I'll get it from his offices." Misato picked up the phone.

* * *

Shinji mumbled incoherently as he shambled to the train station. He didn't drive. Driving required a permit and a lot of trouble to get a car. Normally, trains at this hour are packed especially in a bustling city such as Tokyo, but it was Shinji's lucky day because there was a seat available. He sighed and shifted uncomfortably on the worn out plastic seat. What was up with Soryu? He did all this work and she just ignored it all! If Shinji wasn't utterly exhausted, he would've been indignant. She didn't even explain why she didn't like his plan! Shinji shook his head, having had enough of anything today.

However, a sliver of regret still edged into the corners of his conscience. Shinji bit his lip. The inescapable doubt seeped into consciousness regardless of his justifications: did he wrong her in some way?

* * *

Toji slumped behind the counter. He had an office in the back of the sporting good store, but he really hated the closed off feel to it. Toji was an outdoorsy person, which was part of the reason why he opened a sports shop. He thought that there was a chance of actually being outdoors by doing this. As it turns out…

"Murgghh!" Toji banged his head against the hard wooden surface. It was so boring. It was the mid-morning lull and he hated it. Everybody was at work or school and didn't have time to even window shop, making it exceedingly dull for Toji. What made things worse was that he couldn't even watch anything while he waited for a customer. There were no games on and he didn't have a burning desire to watch daytime soaps.

Jingle.

Toji's head perked up from the counter. His ears twitched in a manner eerily remniscent of a dog awaiting a treat. A customer!

"Hello, sir. May I int-oh, it's just you, Kensuke."

"Nice to see you too," said Kensuke dryly.

"Not that I don't appreciate your company, but aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"I'm getting inspiration for my next game."

"In my store?"

"Nope. From great, understanding friends." Kensuke looked positively malicious.

"_I'm_ understanding?" said Toji skeptically.

"No, of course not. Everybody knows you're a boorish philistine."

"And don't you forget it, so who's the friend?"

Kensuke shot a look.

"No…dude, come on, really?" Toji asked incredulously.

The look didn't change in the least bit.

"You know that he has no romantic life, so where's the benefit in watching him for inspiration? No offense to him, but you'd be more inspired from watching a pie bake or seeing a rom-com with Matthew McConaughey. Hell, even I'm a better choice."

"No, you're not."

Toji looked scandalized. "I've got romance in me! Hikari can vouch. Once I-"

"Yes," Kensuke interjected before he received a mental image that no amount of alcohol could scrub out. "But you have no conflict. You and Hikari are too stable to find inspiration for a dating sim, which inherently has to have conflict. It's in the very mechanics of a successful game. There has to be significant buildup and struggle that makes the ending all that much more satisfying as well as engage the gamer."

"Huh. Good point, but Shinji's not interested in finding a relationship. He's too busy with his job. The only time he gets off is when he hangs with us on Friday and that's a tradition we've had since college."

"No, no, no. Every man who says he isn't looking for a relationship is lying to appear masculine. Proven psychology. There's a common cultural stigma to men for them to be stoic and alone. Where desiring them in a truly emotionally intimate way will prove them to be just the opposite. In reality, men are exactly like women in yearning for a connection for someone, anyone. The only thing is that all our subterfuge and restraint creates barriers that prevent us from ever achieving this goal. You were lucky with Hikari. You found someone right off the bat because you met a compatible person early and spent most of your formative years getting over those barriers."

Toji blinked. "I…actually understood that."

"I'm surprised," Kensuke commented dryly, "But anyways, he will do for the scenario."

"Scenario? You sound like some hackneyed, middle aged villain. Are you going to start growing a beard and hit on fourteen year old girls?"

"Of course not…but now that you mention it, do you think I could pull off a goatee?"

Toji cocked an eyebrow.

"Point taken," Kensuke muttered forlornly.

* * *

Gendo Ikari rubbed his chin as he gazed into the bathroom mirror. Every day he repeated this routine over and over. It was to mourn the fact that he never had to buy a shaving razor ever again. Some years ago, his future wife found his growing facial hair to be irritating…so she proceeded to break into the college chemistry lab and made sure that _nothing_ could grow there anymore. One could almost pity him, but then the second part of his routine started. Gendo shook the can of shaving cream to his side and sprayed it directly on his face. With the cream, he made a crude beard and posed in the mirror.

_I do wish Yui let me keep the beard or even the promise of any facial hair. I believe that I was beginning to gain a badass appearance. Yes…badassery of magnificent villainous heights was within my grasp. _

"Dear?" A sweet voice called from behind the door. Gendo shuddered. As much as he loved the woman who possessed that voice, he also had numerous flashbacks associated with the voice and horrible actions that followed the word "dear".

"Y-yes?" Gendo frantically fumbled with the faucet to wash all evidence away.

"Lunch is ready. Come out or else it'll get cold."

Yui Ikari insisted that her husband was to be fed by her and only her. Gendo never quite understood her logic in the matter. Food was food and it didn't really matter if he decided to make a sandwich for himself or get some ramen from the local stand. However, being the obedient (read whipped) husband he was, Gendo came in for every meal of the day including lunch.

"Ju-just a second."

A pause. "Dear…you wouldn't happen to be doing anything naughty in there, would you?"

Gendo froze with his hand a scant few inches away from the running water. "No…"

"All righty then." Gendo heard footsteps move away from the door. However, he knew his wife well enough that something worse would happen and braced himself. He was right.

Boom!

The bathroom door fell with a mighty thud. Yui Ikari walked in with a battering ram labeled 'Yui's Little Enforcer'. Her slender figure was complimented by her apron and light green dress. However, the picture of domestic beauty was somewhat marred…seeing as there was a chainsaw strapped to her back. Gendo had yet to wash off the cream and sheepishly realized that fact as he stared at his psychopathic wife.

"Oh, dearest. You're so silly when it comes to that nasty little fuzz you had in college. It's a good thing you had a wonderful, understanding woman like myself to set you straight. Now wash up and come out for lunch. Or else." Yui patted the chainsaw lovingly before kissing her husband on the cheek and walking out.

Gendo complied; knowing that nothing good came out of defying his wife. _I certainly hope Shinji has more success dealing with women than I do._

_

* * *

_

The door was a finely crafted plank of oak wood with well lacquered surface and a simple, but elegant shape. Indeed, it was a fine door and one Asuka Langley Soryu was staring at it and had been doing so for the past half hour. Every time she raised her hand to knock, she stopped and resented Misato's presence at the bottom floor to make sure she couldn't run from this.

"Stupid jerk. Had to open his big mouth about his big stupid plan to…" _Help me._ Asuka left the sentence unfinished. She bit her lip. Why did she have to give a damn about this jackass' opinion of her? He was working for her. She was paying him to do a job, not nurse his own wounded feelings.

Asuka breathed heavily through her nose to calm her rapid heartbeat. Summoning sufficient feminine indignation, Asuka raised her hand and finally knocked with absolutely no hesitation.

* * *

A/N: Yup. Another update. Overall, this chapter is more exposition and set up than anything. That said, it's easier to work on this because it's not quite as plot twisty or "deep" as Pick Up Lines. This story is venting my need for some lightness to my writing. I really hate stuff that gets overly deconstructive and gritty. There is a limit to how depressing and political a story can be. I've already finished half of the next chapter, so expect another update next week, so don't go foaming at the mouth over the cliffhanger. In the meantime, speak your piece about my work. Until then, good night.


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